Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize