Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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