it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize