my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
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i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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