holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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