did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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