Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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