There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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