why didn't you poke me back
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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