i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
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My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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