Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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