why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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