I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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