so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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