me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize