I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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