I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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