Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize