well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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