doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
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He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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