i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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