break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize