yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
How naked do you want me to be?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize