I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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