I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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