and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
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I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
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idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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