Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize