You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize