just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
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I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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