im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
God, I missed his penis.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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