He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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