Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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