Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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