I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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