Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize