I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize