To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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