i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize