hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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