what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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