All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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