I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize