I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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