I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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