your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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