i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
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He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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