so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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