true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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