I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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