No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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